This week brings with it 3 rather significant dates in our house: our wedding anniversary, our son’s birthday and Mother’s Day. This combination of dates, a trifecta of motherhood, if you will, brings with it many thoughts and reflections on my life--the past, the present, and our hopeful future.
Not so long ago, I was single, traveling constantly. Before I married, I had travelled to over 35 countries, lived in 6 countries and had extra pages added to my passport to accommodate the number of visas required for my visits.
My busiest summer had me on 4 continents during a 3 month span. My most settled summer had me in West Africa (Ghana) for 3 1/2 months, working in a hospital. Those were the jet-setting days and if i had only 3 things, a passport, a credit card and a toothbrush, I was ready to travel. I slept in airports, on trains, friends’ couches, voluntary missionary guesthouses, tents, in tribal villages under the stars, it didn’t matter. After Katrina, I slept on a mattress in a utility closet as I ran a shelter clinic. On family mission trips to Mexico, I slept in the back of my dad’s Suburban.
As a nurse, I could always leave my work at the hospital and come home to a sanctuary of peace and minimal responsibility.
Fast-forward to my life at present. A wife of 3 years, a mother for 2 of those years. My motherhood will be expanded in a few short months, and our little family will continue to grow.
Now when we travel, my checklist is at least 3 pages long. As a homeowner, there are things that must be taken care of at home while we’re gone. As a mother, I want to be fully prepared for everything my son needs, including knowing where nearby medical facilities are (duct tape bandages were just fine for me, but somehow they seem unacceptable for my 2-year-old son). As a wife, I want to make sure the long car rides and plane travel are as comfortable for my husband as possible and don’t want to burden him with an unfair balance of responsibility during our trips.
As a stay-at-home mom, my office is my home and I can’t leave work at work because, well, I never leave work and there is always more to be done.
Please don’t misunderstand, I love my life. I love my past, but I love my present more. I love being a wife and mother, nothing I have done up to this point has been so challenging and so fulfilling. There are days when I wonder if the dirty dishes and piles of laundry may actually fall upon me and consume me, but as long as I remember that they come second to loving my son and husband, they never overwhelm me.
Sure, I could go back to work. I could go back to the hospital and earn money so that I could pay someone else to raise my child and experience all the firsts in his precious life. Or, I could continue to stay at home and not miss a thing. I’d rather not miss a thing. This is not only where I belong, but where I want to belong.
Motherhood is a beautiful thing. I’m so blessed to be a part of it.
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